Beautiful White Cultured
Adopting Outside of Your Race: Creating a Multi-Cultural Family
You have waited so long for this wonderful opportunity. Not only do you see it as your chance to be the best parent that you believe that you can be, but you also hope that you will be able to bring joy, support, and an abundance of love to a child. Your dream is that you and your child have a life full of great experiences. In your quest to adopt, you knew in your heart that you just wanted a child to share life with, and race was a moot point. Regardless of whether your child would be black or white or tan, your love would supersede all. That is an excellent ideal. However, the reality of adopting a child of another cultural background is not as cut and dry, or simple as that. It takes a great deal of awareness, sensitivity, and education, for your family and your child.
Whether your child is a newborn or a 10 year old, their cultural awareness should always be a priority in your lives. Understandably, introducing “race” and explaining “racial issues” to an inquisitive child can be uncomfortable at times, especially if they have had to personally deal with negativity already because of their cultural background. But, you have to think long-term when it comes to your child. Remember that they won’t always be a child and they will, absolutely, be judged, unfortunately, based on their color, race, or cultural background at some point in their lives. But, mentally, emotionally, and culturally, as a parent of an ethnic child, you must know this, and make a conscious effort to address it, celebrate it, and not make it a “taboo” thing in your household. Honesty and knowledge are the best ways to face it.
When white parents raise a black child, they should go the “extra mile” to integrate that child’s culture into their home, their toys, and their lives. For example, while you do not have to buy all black dolls for your black daughter. But make sure that she has several and tell her how beautiful those dolls are for their similarities to her; this will be key to building a positive self-image for her. She sees beauty in her dolls and you, as a parent, acknowledge that beauty; therefore, she will see beauty in herself and expects her own beauty to be acknowledged. From her tightly curled hair and braids to her chocolate complexion, she should know that although inner beauty is more important, her Nubian features are just as captivating. Providing your child with books about their culture, taking them to cultural events where they can learn about their heritage, and helping them to connect with positive people in the community that share their background are integral to your child’s culturalization.
As your child grows, there will be things that they face in life that you can only imagine or visualize based on what others say. At every stage of their life, their awareness of who they are and what they are will become increasingly apparent. Your child may struggle to identify, either within your family or even in social interactions. This can be eased a bit if you explain to your child the cultural similarities that you share within your family, as well as ways in which your culture has enriched the lives of all humans. It is your job as a parent to help them to acknowledge this and to learn that their personal success should not be based solely on their cultural background and race, but that they are factors in how they are perceived by others.
While most people would not purposely create an “all white” environ for a black or ethnic child, some may do this unconsciously because, maybe, that is the only life that they know. However, isolating your child in an environment without any “color” could be detrimental to their personal growth and self-actualization. Your family is now multicultural. Thus, your child’s school and home life should be reflective of that. If you teach your child to be able to comprehend with people of any race, yet to be proud of who they are culturally, as well as their place in your family, you will give your child a wonderful and ideal upbringing.
About the Author
Mardie Caldwell, COAP, is an adoptive mother, award-winning author, and an internationally recognized adoption professional. Founding Lifetime Adoption Center in 1986, she has helped complete thousands of adoptions nationwide. Caldwell often reminds prospective parents that “there is a baby for you,” acknowledging that there is truly a child for everyone who seeks to adopt. Her adoption center accepts applications at no cost from parents seeking to adopt.
Learn more about Caldwell’s Lifetime Adoption Center online at
www.LifetimeAdoption.com.
There is no fee to apply to adopt so step out in faith today and learn how you can get started in building your family through adoption.
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